Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
