I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
