So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
