You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
