why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
