I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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