roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
