and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
