I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
