Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Green mimosas i think yes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
