He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
