Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
