i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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