Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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