im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
