You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
