dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
