OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
