it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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