i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
