There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The adults are the big ones right?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
