Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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