awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize