I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
