Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
sex in a hospital.. check
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
