How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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