coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
