Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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