As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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