i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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