I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
