She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
