i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
