All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
this boner is exhausting
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
