I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
