do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
