Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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