I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
