break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
