so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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