she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You were trust falling into bushes
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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