There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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