Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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