My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
