I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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