Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
