Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
