I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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