Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
