I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
