After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
this hospital has no fireball
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
