I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
