I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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