sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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