East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
