Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
